Big Guy Read online

  The flash goes off.

  “Got it!” Gabi says. She is studying the picture. “This looks more like you, Derek. See?”

  I look at my own face in miniature on the tiny screen. “It’ll do.”

  Gabi sits down at her computer, plugs in her camera and downloads the picture.

  “Okay,” she says, getting up again. “All set.” She pats the chair, inviting me to sit down.

  I sit.

  “You nervous?”

  “A bit. About saying it right, you know? Explaining it all so that he might understand why I did it.”

  “Not about how he’s going to respond?”

  I think about it. “I can’t do anything about that part.”

  “Yeah.” She puts her hand on my shoulder. “But he’d better not be a jerk about it. That’d really piss me off.”

  I turn my head and look at her. “I’ll be okay, you know. Really. Whatever happens.” And it’s funny, but as soon as I say it, I know it’s true.

  “Yeah. You will.” She nods, her expression both surprised and thoughtful.

  I turn back to the computer and rest my hands on the keyboard.

  Gabi is still standing behind me, watching over my shoulder.

  “Umm, Gabi?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you think I could...you know, get a little privacy?”

  She puts her hands on my shoulders and squeezes. “Sorry. Of course you can. I’ll crash on the couch in the den.” She grins. “So you can take all the time you need.”

  After she’s gone, I sit for a while just watching the screen saver, a goofy one with Santa’s reindeer flying around the screen. I haven’t checked my e-mail since I sent Ethan that awful note saying I wanted to end it. Not so long ago, I guess, but it feels like forever.

  My heart is beating so fast.

  Finally I punch in my password, and there in my inbox is a message from Ethan.

  Subject: Not without a fight.

  I open his message and read it

  derek. i know u said u didn’t want to

  continue this but i can’t accept that

  not without some explanation. not

  without a fight.

  everything was great until i said i

  was coming out to Ontario. so tell me

  what’s wrong. please.

  u know what i think? i think ur scared

  about meeting in person. u think i’m

  not? it scares the hell out of me.

  i’m scared u won’t like me as much

  in person, i’m scared i won’t know

  what to say, i’m scared i won’t turn u

  on. i’m scared u will think i’m a lousy

  kisser. seriously. i’ve actually worried

  about that.

  but now i’m just scared i’ll never get

  a chance to find out.

  I read it again and again and again. I take a deep breath.

  Then I start typing.

  Robin Stevenson grew up in England and Ontario, and now lives in Victoria, British Columbia. She is the author of several novels for teens, including Out of Order, Dead in the Water and Impossible Things. More information about Robin is available on her website: www.robinstevenson.com.

  For more titles in the Orca Soundings series, please click here.